Sailing towards uncharted waters, better than drowning in dismay

Finally I’m getting a well-deserved holiday , I’m most probably going on a vacation to Visakhapatnam(Vizag) , a coastal area in Andhra Pradesh, with lots of beaches and enough “sun, sand and surf” to relieve me of all the stress I have been facing lately.
Of late life has been demanding in more ways than one, the details of which I shall not burden you with, but basically it has been pretty frustrating and its not helping that most of my friends have been pretty depressed themselves thus leaving nobody to liven my own dampened spirits. Some are depressed due to family problems, for others its work related issues and for certain others its just plain boredom, whatever the cause may be the effect has been more or less the same, and I guess its really not helping anyone that the weather has been so foreboding too.
Anyways I m glad that in a couple of weeks I shall be getting away from all this, like the Linkin Park song goes “ Its easier to run………..” , I would rather run than feel so low.
Anyways coming to the sailing part of it, you see Vizag is a sea port and my uncle ( who stays there) is some sort of director in the ship yard so I may actually get the opportunity to sail in a ship, so I’m hoping that as I sail in one of those majestic ships, I’ll also be able to sail past my own depression and cruise into happier times.
PS-: If there are dementors around spreading dread in the air, "HELP, harry we need a huge patronous".

Hibernating at home

Three months ago had you told me I’d be given a chance to sit at home doing absolutely nothing and be given the freedom to do what I want when I want to, I would have probably been ecstatic and jumped at the very idea of spending time so aimlessly, but now that I have the opportunity, I’m not so enthusiastic. Every day I sit at home, idle, having absolutely nothing constructive to do and my frustration gets the better of me. You could probably say ( like a lot of people have) watch movies, go out with friends, catch up with your reading etc etc………( and believe me the suggestions are endless)but that does get saturating after a certain point, since that’s exactly what I’ve been doing for the past 1 ½ months, now I long for something useful to do, a grueling schedule, even engineering maths seems highly appealing( I’m sure in the later months I’ll be cursing myself for saying this)…………. Anyways this clearly shows how ironic life can get sometimes, and I’m clearly not laughing at the irony in mine.

August to be spent in denial

Even though all this while everyone’s been focusing on which college or which branch to get into, everyone also realises its time to say goodbye, some for the better( mostly to the jain chem and physics department , who made my life in jain college a living hell and also to a few select students in class whose names I’d rather not mention) and others unfortunately for the worse. Even though most of my friends are going to continue to pursue their studies in banglore, a few are leaving for better prospects elsewhere………but even though this may sound a tad melodramatic ,considerin I can always keep in touch through the phone or the net, whether a few miles or millions this does make a lot of difference, and so this fact that I’m going to be away from people I’ve known since nursery has’nt really been accepted by me. I choose to live in denial…. Sad na but true because sometimes living in denial does give one a false sense of security and warmth and puts away a lot of unwanted mental stress and apprehension, and the only thing I’d like to say to justify this psychopath like behavior is that anyways in a month’s time I’ll have no choice but to face the truth so I’m just trying to avoid the inevitable while I can. .So for now I’m taking life day by day and plan to face the music( whether melodius or not)later…..

Speculating in July

If you guys have observed the weather in banglore lately,or atleast the past couple of weeks,it has been pretty weird, strange and unpredictable. Early in the morning the sun’s up and shining brightly as if it were summer however around noon it disappears behind the clouds followed by a constant drizzle as if monsoon and about 6 in the evening it turns unusually cold, making us hunt for our sweaters and blazers , as if winter.

I have been pretty jobless the past month and have spent my time mostly admiring the weather( you can easily guess that I have absolutely nothing to do),and so I feel that this strangely unusual weather reflects my confused and unsure state of mind.

Confused probably because I still have no idea whether I made the right choice in choosing the college and branch that I did and unsure as to what is going to happen in the fast approaching casual round .I m in a very unpredictable state of mind ( just like the weather) joyful, optimistic and highly hopeful at times , like the morning sunshine, while dull, sulky and moody at others like the gray skies of the afternoon and yet there are times when I’m highly anxious, apprehensive and scared like the cold and chilly nights.

So you can clearly see I’m see that I’ m spending way too much time speculating about the future but then there are those afternoons when there is bright sunshine accompanied by those typically refreshing banglore showers which results in those beautiful evenings with cool breezes and lovely sunset, and those are the evenings I look forward to when I can relish the lovely weather being careless ,having a nice chat with friends and a nice hot cup of chai in my hands…………….