A Moody Scenario

Mood - a word generally used to describe one’s state of mind, is a pretty controversial word I must say, especially around the people I know( including me) cause just like our dear politician’s ambitions or say our exceptional cricketers form , it sometimes fluctuates like crazy.
I was blissfully unaware of my rather dramatic mood swings until this friend of mine recently pointed out how I was completely peaceful one moment ago and seemed to be tearing out my hair in anger at the next, but you really cant blame me my college is filled with such split personalities ( of course yours truly is a part of the herd) where almost everyone suffers from deranged mood swings .
Below I shall elaborate on the above with suitable examples.
1.BLE guy – dear god this man is a champion as far as having the most sudden and dramatic mood swings are concerned.
Like the other day he was clearing our doubts regarding the internal paper, smiling and all( freaky!!!!!!), then all of a sudden he comes storming towards our bench and tells us off for screaming in class( hello you said nothing 5 minutes ago when we were doing the exact same thing???????)
2. Mr.dude –this one is a classic example of “multiple personality disorder” sometimes he says hi to my friends and me like he’s known us all our lives but sometimes he acts like we are total strangers (????)
3. Mom- moms are meant to be loved but sometimes they make it really hard……..
last week as usual when I came home from college she opened the door cheerfully , enquiring about the events of the day and made me a nice hot cup of chai ( all this while I’m thinking ah.. I have such a wonderful mom, I can tell her about my electronics marks, what was I so afraid of, but alas I had thought too soon the monster would soon be unleashed !!!) and then in a span of 5 minutes she starts giving me a lecture of how irresponsible and insensitive I am(???) and why because I did not put my lunch box for wash…
So I’d like to say in short people with fluctuating moods are “dangerous” love them while they’re in a good mood, but at the slightest hint of a mood swing “ run for your life!!!.

Sweet Love

“ Love is a wonderful feeling which stabs you in the heart and leaves you bleeding on the ground”
Childhood sweethearts we’ve all had them, for some they last for others they don’t but ah… they all do leave behind a lasting impression. Whether that special someone was just a crush, a fantasy or an absolute nightmare they were always those times when we thought that “ we were meant to be together” , but later we realize that madam destiny had her own sweet plans and that’s when we move from being kids to adults………..
Little Manhattan is a wonderful movies which highlights the dizzying heights and neurotic lows of first lst love…….

“ Little Manhattan is a love letter to the joys and pains of first love, this is a giant sweetheart of a movie—a lightning-in-a-bottle rarity that will entertain adults as much as it will children (around eight and up) all the while never once talking down to any age group. This isn't merely a cutesy, lightweight romp (like, for example, Disney Channel series'), either, but a heartfelt, realistic, deeply touching motion picture that gets just right the feeling of being eleven years old and discovering your first pangs of romantic affection.
That is exactly what happens to Gabe (Josh Hutcherson), a boy on the cusp of adolescence who is enjoying a carefree summer of hanging out with his guy friends on the Upper West Side of Manhattan until Rosemary (Charlie Ray), a classmate he has known since kindergarten, shows up in his beginners karate class. Once friends before the whole cooties epidemic hit in the first grade, Gabe suddenly sees Rosemary in a whole new light. He doesn't quite know what it is, but his racing heart every time he looks at her is a feeling he likes. Paired up as sparring partners, they soon become good friends again—spending time at each other's homes, going to Central Park, secretly journeying downtown to the Village to check out a possible home for Gabe's father, Adam (Bradley Whitford), who is currently going through a divorce with mother Leslie (Cynthia Nixon). With Rosemary headed to camp in just a few weeks that Gabe begins to fear this may be his one and only chance to tell her how he feels about her.

Meanwhile, as the two become closer, Gabe grapples with garnering the courage to kiss her, something that he finds himself chickening out with. When they attend a concert with Rosemary's parents and finally hold hands for the first time, it is a purely magical moment. As the summer wears on and Rosemary's departure for camp draws near, Gabe grows all the more sure that he loves her. But, when the time comes to express his feelings, Rosemary's reaction to the news avoids going over-the-top or warm and fuzzy, and is played just right. She is, after all, still just a kid who isn't quite ready to start quote-unquote "dating." ”

This is not a “wine n roses and happily ever after” romantic movie but very moving in its utter simplicity so for all of you out there who have lost faith in the very phenomenon of “ love” it is a must watch as it rekindles one’s faith in sweet innocent love.

After a long haitus

Wow. Its been so long since I’ve written. Ok may be its been only a month and a half or so but it feels light years away. So life’s changed a lot since, so here are the updates…….
For starters I got into the “much coveted” rv college of engineering that to into the branch I wanted “telecommunications” so that was great, but then college started……
Its been hectic and stressful to say the least but I guess it’s a bitter-sweet existence, even though the course load’s tiring and the traveling overwhelming I’ve made some great friends already, touch wood, I mean I have to survive 4 years here. Other than that there’s guitar class and debating- the extra curriculars I have no intention of giving up,as a result I have to work double hard to keep up with the never ending homework, assignments etc( can u believe they make you do all this in college and check it too) so even though its just been 1 month into college I have to occasionally get up at 3 in the morning to finish the above mentioned crap, but I have kinda gotten used to this grueling schedule, at a personal level things are so-so but I guess things are not so bad after all I could have ended up in some hell-hole with no friends whatsoever ……………. So that’s a thumb’s up from me.

Sailing towards uncharted waters, better than drowning in dismay

Finally I’m getting a well-deserved holiday , I’m most probably going on a vacation to Visakhapatnam(Vizag) , a coastal area in Andhra Pradesh, with lots of beaches and enough “sun, sand and surf” to relieve me of all the stress I have been facing lately.
Of late life has been demanding in more ways than one, the details of which I shall not burden you with, but basically it has been pretty frustrating and its not helping that most of my friends have been pretty depressed themselves thus leaving nobody to liven my own dampened spirits. Some are depressed due to family problems, for others its work related issues and for certain others its just plain boredom, whatever the cause may be the effect has been more or less the same, and I guess its really not helping anyone that the weather has been so foreboding too.
Anyways I m glad that in a couple of weeks I shall be getting away from all this, like the Linkin Park song goes “ Its easier to run………..” , I would rather run than feel so low.
Anyways coming to the sailing part of it, you see Vizag is a sea port and my uncle ( who stays there) is some sort of director in the ship yard so I may actually get the opportunity to sail in a ship, so I’m hoping that as I sail in one of those majestic ships, I’ll also be able to sail past my own depression and cruise into happier times.
PS-: If there are dementors around spreading dread in the air, "HELP, harry we need a huge patronous".

Hibernating at home

Three months ago had you told me I’d be given a chance to sit at home doing absolutely nothing and be given the freedom to do what I want when I want to, I would have probably been ecstatic and jumped at the very idea of spending time so aimlessly, but now that I have the opportunity, I’m not so enthusiastic. Every day I sit at home, idle, having absolutely nothing constructive to do and my frustration gets the better of me. You could probably say ( like a lot of people have) watch movies, go out with friends, catch up with your reading etc etc………( and believe me the suggestions are endless)but that does get saturating after a certain point, since that’s exactly what I’ve been doing for the past 1 ½ months, now I long for something useful to do, a grueling schedule, even engineering maths seems highly appealing( I’m sure in the later months I’ll be cursing myself for saying this)…………. Anyways this clearly shows how ironic life can get sometimes, and I’m clearly not laughing at the irony in mine.

August to be spent in denial

Even though all this while everyone’s been focusing on which college or which branch to get into, everyone also realises its time to say goodbye, some for the better( mostly to the jain chem and physics department , who made my life in jain college a living hell and also to a few select students in class whose names I’d rather not mention) and others unfortunately for the worse. Even though most of my friends are going to continue to pursue their studies in banglore, a few are leaving for better prospects elsewhere………but even though this may sound a tad melodramatic ,considerin I can always keep in touch through the phone or the net, whether a few miles or millions this does make a lot of difference, and so this fact that I’m going to be away from people I’ve known since nursery has’nt really been accepted by me. I choose to live in denial…. Sad na but true because sometimes living in denial does give one a false sense of security and warmth and puts away a lot of unwanted mental stress and apprehension, and the only thing I’d like to say to justify this psychopath like behavior is that anyways in a month’s time I’ll have no choice but to face the truth so I’m just trying to avoid the inevitable while I can. .So for now I’m taking life day by day and plan to face the music( whether melodius or not)later…..

Speculating in July

If you guys have observed the weather in banglore lately,or atleast the past couple of weeks,it has been pretty weird, strange and unpredictable. Early in the morning the sun’s up and shining brightly as if it were summer however around noon it disappears behind the clouds followed by a constant drizzle as if monsoon and about 6 in the evening it turns unusually cold, making us hunt for our sweaters and blazers , as if winter.

I have been pretty jobless the past month and have spent my time mostly admiring the weather( you can easily guess that I have absolutely nothing to do),and so I feel that this strangely unusual weather reflects my confused and unsure state of mind.

Confused probably because I still have no idea whether I made the right choice in choosing the college and branch that I did and unsure as to what is going to happen in the fast approaching casual round .I m in a very unpredictable state of mind ( just like the weather) joyful, optimistic and highly hopeful at times , like the morning sunshine, while dull, sulky and moody at others like the gray skies of the afternoon and yet there are times when I’m highly anxious, apprehensive and scared like the cold and chilly nights.

So you can clearly see I’m see that I’ m spending way too much time speculating about the future but then there are those afternoons when there is bright sunshine accompanied by those typically refreshing banglore showers which results in those beautiful evenings with cool breezes and lovely sunset, and those are the evenings I look forward to when I can relish the lovely weather being careless ,having a nice chat with friends and a nice hot cup of chai in my hands…………….

The Mugg N Vomit Syndrome

This is a bloody endemic which has deeply inflicted and crippled the Indian education system. India’s youth is said 2 b 1 of d most intelligent, hardworking and academically inclined one in d world but thanx 2 d above disease which has gripped d mind of d Indian youth their potential is not being completely sapped. I m an ICSE student n thanx 2 dat atleast my ability 2 understand , contemplate n criticize was encouraged 2 a certain extent but 4 my 11 th std I shifted 2 d state board and was appalled by their system of education here let alone encouraging a student’s ability 2 understand , here d phenomenon of understandin is completely discouraged. Here d students r provided wid typed notes n r asked 2 completely learn it by-heart,n during d exam d student is asked 2 reproduce d same without missin a comma or a question mark. Here d question as 2 whether d student has an understandin of d subject does not even arise n is treated as irrelevant. If any student has any doubt regardin d subject he/she is asked 2 read d notes thoroughly again n if he/she further questions d teacher , he/she is made a mockery of or is shouted at for askin unnecessary questions……….hence in conclusion I’d like to say dat 1 has 2 take some sort of step 2 change how things work here because in today’s world where things knowledge keeps widenin its boundaries by d second 1 cannot continue 2 live in this ignorant n knaive fashon. Thus I’d also like 2 add by sayin dat after knowing how things work here it does not shock me when India inspite of being d home 2 d largest no. of docs n engineers in d world is not home 2 dat many scientists since even though d ppl here may b remarkably gifted, very rarely r they encouraged 2 use their brains.

D cobra in my garden

This happened 2 me n my fly bout 5 yrs ago…………………I live in south bangalore in an area which is not quite in d outskirts of bangalore but an area which until 4-5 yrs ago was pretty forlorn. My house is a beautiful white 1 wid lush green trees , thickets n bushes adornin it on 3 sides, which itself had bcome a home 2 a few woodland creatures lik birds, butterflies n even a few squirrels, but 5 yrs ago was when all d development began which transformed our area 4m a “ peaceful not so well-developed “ one 2 one of d prime areas in bangalore.
U c a group of builders had bought this huge orchard near my place n were now goin 2 fell all d trees n replace them wid majestic apartment buildings n condos, n so they came wid their noisy trucks laden wid concrete n other building material thus bringing noise n pollution 2 d then unpolluted area. Don’t get me wrong of course thanx 2 dem v now hav lovely malls n shoppin complexs @ a stone’s throw away , but den v were robbed of d earlier solitude v possessed………….
So in addition 2 disturbin d mental peace of a large no. of humans d very homes of a no. of creatures ,birds, bandicoots n snakes( of whom till now v were blissfully unaware of), were destroyed. So as d trees were chopped dese animals crawled, scurried n slithered away 2 find a better habitat 2 reside in n unfortunately some of them chose r homes as a temporary residence.One evening as my mom n I were standin on our balcony jus admiring d beautiful sunset, v heard some sorta of commotion comin 4m d neighbour’s house on enquiring v were told dat dere was a cobra in their garden , instinctively I looked down @ r own garden(not knowing wat I’d find dere ofcourse) only 2 c this long, shiny black serpent wid a spectacle mark on its hood 2 b curled around d curry leaf tree. Its very length astounded me 4 I can assure u it was atleast 10 feet long, I kept staring @ it 4 a good 60 seconds bfore regainin my wits , I then told my mom who panicked n called 4 d colony watchman. He soon came along wid a few labourers armed wid sticks 2 kill d snake but thankfully d snake was just too quick 4 them n gav them a slip.
Till 2day everytime I look @ dat tree I m haunted by d memory of dat long, black cobra wid its fangs full of venom n it sends jitters down my spine, but now I realize dat d poor snake had nowhere else 2 go, 2day wid r ever increasing population every inch of forest land is being felled 2 accomodate us humans leavin behind no place 4 other animals lik snakes, tigers, elephants etc 4 whom lush green forests r necessary. So some sorta compromise has 2 b reached so dat dere is sufficient space 4 both animals n humans, I do not know how this can b attained but soon some drastic measures need 2 b taken bfore it leads 2 more complicated circumstances

Sandy - My 1st love

Ppl bfore u get any crazy ideas let me tell u sandy was my dog's name n bfore u further go crazier by thinkin i m 1 of those few ppl who hav sexual relations or marry a being of another specie................ let me tell i m no such weirdo . sandy was this beautiful labrador which my dad actually got as a gift 4m his vet frnd cuz she knew v were lookin 4 a dog.............. it was 1 of d most beautiful dogs i ve ever seen ( n blive me i m not bein partial or anythin cuz he was mine) he had this delicte golden-brown fur, pretty thick actually considerin labs r not very hairy, makin d doc assume he was a cross b/w a lab n a golden retriever, lovely , beautiful silver-grey eyes, remindin me of franki muniz's eyes n amazingly energetic. He was a perfectly healthy dog n we had given him all d shots v had 2, he was a healthy eater n slightly lazy( but c'mon who can blame him he was related 2 me). He was amazingly popular wid everyone in d neighbourhood n everyone 4m d milk walla 2 d poo-karee used 2 pet him every mornin, of course this made him useless as a guard dog considerin his overtly friendly nature but more than a guardian he was a dear friend 2 all.Sadly however 1 night he fell seriously ill, v called d vet who said v should come n meet him d 1st thin in d mornin, sandy hence suffered all night n week took him 2 d vet d nxt day he asked us 2 rush him immediately 2 d hospital cuz he suspected dat it had ingested some sorta foreign material......... my mom @ this pt asked d vet if there was some sorta threat 2 his life........ he cud'nt make any promises but assured us dat if v hurried things wud b ok............... v immediately rushed him 2 d hospital but sadly he passed away on d way itself.... it was my 1st experiance wid loss, of course now i hav learnt 2 accept it however i m unsure whether me n my family will ever gather enough courage 2 keep a dog again................. sandy was a lovable an a loyal pet but sadly his life was so untimely cut short, however in wat little time he did spend wid us he brightened our lives immensely n i m thankful 4 dat..............

The phase b/w school n college

Firstly i'd lik 2 say that where i m 4m 1 can make a choice after 1 finishes school 1 can either 2 go 2 school( 11 n 12 as its called here) or choose 2 take a pre-university degree, i chose d latter so rit now i m not feelin any aprehension as far as d feelin of havin much more freedom or bein able 2 wear casual clothes goes but i m feelin a lotta thins rit now..................... 2 name a few relieved yet anxious................. jobless n yet overworked.................... by readin wat i m sayin u'd probably think i m looney considerin i m ststin contradictory emotions but let me assure this is a highly confusin phase for me n my peers, intially i was highly overjoyed n relieved when d exams were over now i cud get up late, not hav 2 worry bout any stupid exam or test n basically do watta i want, this made me feel so exhilarated d feelin i tot had been sapped outta me after all those days of rigorous studyin........... thus makin me feel so human which was sooooooo gr8 considerin i'd been feelin lik a bloody robot 4m a long time but soon my mom burst my bubble, course exams were over but now i was faced by a more scary prospect, lik i tot that was possible, u guessed rit RESULTS, this made me stay up @ nights n 4 d 1st time i experianced d flipside of bein so jobless it gav me time 2 dwell on dis pressin matter............... thankfully due 2 god's grace n my moms constant prayers my results were k.................. but yet again dere was an obstacle in my path 2 mental peace COUNSELLIN ............... so this once again caused nightmares n nervous breakdowns but even dat turned out pretty ok but now there's another round of counsellin.............. it sounds lik part 2 of a horror flick does'nt it???????? blive me it is..............now u c dere s somethin called management quota, a provision by which a person by payin a lotta money can buy a seat............ n somethin called comed, an entrance exam which i also wrote, thru which a person can get a seat in a desiered coll but by payin much more cash than d regular common entrance counsellin round, thanx 2 my mums advice i attended only d regular cet round n got a seat in a coll called pesit in telecom............... i m happy wid d branch but i m interested in changin d coll.................. d coll's actually pretty good but there s this other coll called rv which' s d best, i m very interested in joinin dis coll, but my chances of gettin in2 d coll thru this second round of counsellin called d casual vacancy round is pretty slim, i hav a lotta frnds dere n would b overjoyed if somehow i make it dere...................... but ppl say dat here again a lotta politics is involved n nothins predictable, so once again i m keepin my fingers crossed n am hopin 4 d, so i hopin 4 d best.....................so i hope u can c now by wat i mean, i m pretty confused n hopefully soon all my worries ll b over.................

Sweet 16 N Sweeter 17

ok i m only bein sarcastic , wish any kid 4m d indian subcontinent with some sorta academic inclination a sweet 16/17 on his/her bday n he/she ll tell u 2 stop kiddin cuz 16 n 17 r those 2 yrs in one's life where one's gotta slog 2 get in2 a decent coll in India( a country full of politics where after reservation, corruption n d new founded management quota , a sophisiticated term 4 buyin a seat, d no. of seats left behind r a very few). here its a rat race, a "survival of d fittest " scenario, thus u hav kids everywhere sloggin it out 4 2 yrs. After d iit, aieee, cet, pu coachin classes n school d time left behind 2 hav a life is limited let alone fun cuz breathin , eatin n sleepin too consumes time na...........so now @ 18 i dwell on wat i ve done 4 fun d past 2 yrs n my memory fails me.............if u don blive me let me describe a typical day 4m d past 2 yrs of ma life.........D day starts wid me groanin in d mornin on hearin d sound of my alarm @ 5.30 ( i ve broken 6 of ma alarms in d past 2 yrs, mornin grumpiness bein d culprit), somehow i manage 2 get outta bed n dress my self rather sleepily 4 tut, @ 6 i m ready n listenin 2 my mom tellin me dat d neighbour's son, also in my class, was up @ 4 in d morn studyin n was'nt" dozing of" unlike me................ ignorin her usual mornin lecture bout my laziness i try findin my kinetic's keys( as usual i ve mis placed them somewhere n 4 now hav 2 use d duplicate so as 2 make it 2 tut on time) ................thus glancin @ clock on d wall i hurriedly move outa d house tryin 2 get d kinetic out of d garage...................... n finally after gettin d stupid kinetic started( my leg hurtin 4m all d kickin) i manage 2 get 2 tut............... in tut as usual i listen 2 sir tellin d boys dat tardiness would not b tolerated d nxt time( bein glad tat i managed 2 get dere on time inspite of all d confusion)Now in tut i'd probably pay attention 4 bout 20-30 min of d 1 n half hour class noddin senselessly d rest of d time. Finally when tut ll b over @ 8.30 i'd b glad 2 come out tryin push d tots of d upcomin tut test ( of who's portions i m still unaware of, lack of attention in class 2 blame, thus makin a mental note 2 call 1 of d guys bfore d test 2 find out) outta my head.................. finally i ll make it home @ bout 8.45 only 2 b told by my mom dat 1 of my frnds had called 2 inform me dat v hav special class 2day n dat i need 2 b in coll by 9.30, cursing my luck i quickly take a shower n try 2 get ready................ by d time i realise that there's nothin ironed its too late n thus donning some dishewelled clothes, grabin somethin 2 eat 4 breakfast n pushin a couple of books in2 my bag i leave home..................... with my mothers words ringin in my ears 2 drive slowly not realisin dat if i drive slowly i'd never make it 2 coll in time. Thus squezzing my way deftly thru d terrible blore traffic i'd finally reachin classes huffin n puffin in a half dazed state( thanx 2 d curses recieved 4md coll watchman 4 makin somebody else's vehicle fall while tryin 2 find a parkin space 4 my own).......................... now classes in coll would start( durin which i mastered d art of sleepin wid my eyes open) durin which i'd concenterate 4 a total of 5 min either @ d beginnin or d end of class dependin on when d teacher would take d attendence( but don judge i don think even d teachers had a clue as 2 wat they were rambling bout) finally coll would get over @ 5.30 ...................I'd make my way bac 2 d parkin lot( glad dat i thankfully din get in2 any trouble in coll) n ride bac home.................. as i would ride @ a good speed along rose-garden road my mind 4 d first time in d day would b @ peace , thanx 2 d lush green trees on either side of d road n cool breeze driftin thru d area, a good change 4m d otherwise preoccupied state it would b in...................... den i'd b bac home glad 2 c dat i hav half an hour more 2 relax bfore mom gets home n asks me 2 study(sayin dat kumar had already started studyin)......................den it'd b bac 2 studies or chem tut dependin on d day of d week................. as usual dinner @ 8.30................... watchin some tv n relaxin 4m 9-10......................... n 4m 10 onwards its tryin 2 get some last min record or homework done n listenin 2 linkin park simultaneously on my ipod.............................finally go 2 bed round 11............. thus u c takin all d above in2 consideration i would lik all those well meanin aunts n uncles who say these r d" wonder yrs " 2 actually pay a closer attention 2 r lives cuz 16 n 17 were 2 yrs strenious, exhaustin n even excitin @ times but rarely sweet...........................